Lucyjoy ... I know you have done the RTC program ...
My question deals with the family session we had yesterday. Our 13 year old placement (of 2 years this June) who is currently in an RTC program following 3 months of intense psychiatric hospitalization (for bi-polar + a series of diagnoses) is currently in the process of sabotaging each and every home pass he has ... his therapist is rather frustrated at this time as she is beginning to see another side of him - the one that says one thing while meaning something opposite of his words/actions. At yesterday's session, which he chose not to attend ... which she is allowing at this point which we disagree with ... it was stated that the child has little or no attachment to anyone or anything and little or anything to offer any relationship and will required 100% giving/unconditional love from the adults in his life ... were we willing to do so ... meaning that we could have no expectations from him ... including not following house rules while here. This I disagreed to/with and she will be meeting with spouse to see if she can come to some agreement with him next week. She also raised the question of a step-down program (therapeutic foster care) which we had previously identified to the therapist who resigned just a progress was beginning that we were in agreement this would most likely be necessary to effect a successful reunification vs. the child returning directly here and facing the possibility of another rejection. She also asked if we still love him - we do but he must want to be part of our family to return ... he cannot have free reign of behaviors/actions/privileges ... just to be here. Do you think we are being unreasonable? Opinions please ... not really feeling guilty but having those thoughts cross my mind of "am I doing enough".
Thanks for listening and responding.
