[maureen salamon]

I am one of the lucky ones -- an adoptee who found my bmom a year ago. Her contact letter back to me said she "received my letter with such joy -- I had always hoped the day would come that you might search me out." We have gone on to have an extremely successful reunion. She "outed" me to her three other kids, the rest of her family, and all of her friends. This was not done without much thought and some pain, but I know she feels it has been worth it now. She feels she no longer has to live in dark corners and shadows.

But I do feel timing has so much to do with the success of a reunion. If she had found me when I was 19 and starting college, I don't think I would have turned her away, but I really don't think I could have received her very well into my life. Ditto for when I was 25 or even 30 -- when I first considered this scenario since my sister's bparents found her when I was about that age. I remember being mortified at the prospect that these people could just step back into my life after giving me up so many years before!

What a difference a few more years made. When I was 34 I decided I didn't want to go the rest of my life without knowing anything about where I came from. That prompted me to send for my non-identifying background, which then prompted my search, then leading to contact on my part and the reunion a year ago, when I was 35.

I couldn't have asked for more, but I know exactly how lucky I've been. I joke that if I had started lurking around AdoptionForums before my reunion I never would have had the guts to contact my bmom -- after getting the eyeful of posts on how badly most reunions go! I was glad I took action first before educating myself on typical scenarios!

That's just how it ended up for me -- not because I deserve it anymore than anyone else. Just luck, and fate, I guess.