|
My best advice to anyone adopting older children
We've adopted four kids from the county. The advice I have for you is as fallows:
1. Ask your agency what their rate for children being sucessfully adopted is. If their sucess rate is not that great (in CO) you can chose any county to work with. Trust me some are better than others.
2. Listen....When you go in to hear about a child you will be VERY excited but listen carefully and maybe even tape record the conversation for future reference. You will get much background information, it will be valuable to you later when your child has questions. Also to you as you make your decision as to wether that child is right for you.
3. Ask questions. Do not worry about how long the interveiw takes. Ask ANYTHING you want to before commiting to a child. Ask if you can talk to the childs foster parent (they usually have more info than the county as to the child's behavior).
4. Older children experience a "honeymoon" phase. Those with attachment disorder can charm your pant's off but it is all show it is because they are desparate for love and affection. Ask the county about the availability of an attachment specialist to help you bond with your new child.
5. Don't be suprised if you don't immediately fall head over heals for the child you are matched with sometimes it takes time (for you and the child) for love to grow.
6. Don't expect an older child to be greatful for being adopted. They just see you as another placement and are sometimes resentful for being moved again.
7. Do ask questions about subsidy and Medicaid for your child. Even if they don't bring it up ask if the child is eligible. This can be of great help if you are financially not well off. The monies can be used to benefit the child ie, alternative therapies etc.
Hope this helps!
Luv, Rainbow Mom
|