[Barksum]

I have kind of come full circle in the last 3 weeks. We've had alot (!!!) going on in our family, but even during all the other things we've been juggling I've been working on getting some things in place for DS.

The more I read the DSM IV for RAD, the more I felt we really didn't have a good fit for our son. DS is happily affectionate with us -- if we give him the prompts. He doesn't often give us unsolicited hugs. Occaisionally, but not often. He has a difficult time initiating these actions, but affectionately, happily, ungrudgingly, unstintingly gives us cuddles if we give him the cues that enable him to act. When he is in distress he comes to me for comfort. He misses us when we are gone; is happy when we return. When he has a bad dream he crawls into my bed and wraps his arms around me and wants to cuddle. He has a pet (toy) on whom he lavishes affection. He even shares his special blanket with his toy, and that's a big deal. Is this really the face of RAD? I remain unconvinced. He also displays MANY behaviors that I really wouldn't notice if I didn't know his history, so I'm chalking some up under the "Normal" column.

At this point in time we are in the process of making appts to get SI therapy from an OT, parent training from a FASD program and to continue on with our local child therapist. We feel that this should provide a good network to start with and we can branch out from there if need be.

So no, I'm not taking a diagnosis and accepting it without scrutiny and discussion. Even though this dx was made by a team of highly trained professionals they did only see my child for a fraction of time on one day of his life. I live with him and have followed his progress (or lack of) for over two years. I recognize that there are issues, and we want to address them; but it will help none of us if we are addressing issues that aren't there and not addressing the issues that are there.