I have been struggling over the past few days cause my sons birthday is coming up soon. I am upset and no one that is around me understands. There are times that I just cry and I really don't understand why. Then when I think of what the time of the year it is and I am just completely out of it. My boyfriend is completely supportive but there are times that he can't even handle is nut case girlfriend. He doesn't understand the pain that I am going through. Every day that I get like this I wish I could go and find my son's father and kick him in the butt. I know that it is hard for me and I feel like I have no one to talk to and I am glad that I found this website and I am hoping that I can find some support out there. Reading everyone's notes makes me remember that I am not the only that is going through all of this. I fear that my boyfriend feels like I am pushing him away because the thoughts of my ex and my son come out and I some times feel like I am pushing him out too. I love my boyfriend to death but I wish there was a way that I could make him understand. I am such a mess I wish I could find the right words for him.
