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My experience has been a bit different than yours. I am a gay single male. I have worked with three adoption agencies so far and do not yet have a homestudy. The most recent agency was very positive about approving my homestudy until Wednesday of this past week when they found out I am gay. They didn't ask so I didn't tell. The interveiws had been completed including a battery of 3 or 4 psychological evaluations, the home inspection was completed, the physical and background check. All without any significant reservations. As I write this I am considering fighting. I am civicly active (United Way, Big Brother, board member with civil rights group) and a regular church goer. I am an employed professional and in nearly impecable financial shape. Yes, discrimination does exist but we don't need to quietly tolerate it.

I don't understand your problem with unreturned phone calls. For the most part my phone calls are returned. I have a three ring binder with about a hundred kids I have gathered information on (I have been at this for one and half years so far). I have watched them be placed in what I felt were less than ideal placements as I lingered in homestudylessness. One of the reasons I think my calls are returned is because I call until they call back or until I get a hold of them. Many of the people I have talked to are very willing to provide me with information about the kids behaviors, school performance, reasons for coming into care, placement histories, etc.. Some will not. Do not waste your time with these people unless you are really attracted to the kid. If they are particularly obstinate speak with their supervisor or their supervisor's supervisor. There is no need to treat these people gently when they are hindering you in helping them do their job. Others often try to steer me to other kids if the one I am interested in is placed. If you would like, I could provide you with some contacts. They will mainly be in Michigan and Ohio.

Thicken your skin and go after what you want. Do not be deterred by silly stall tactics. These people's jobs are to place kids without permanent famlies in families who will enjoy their company.