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Originally Posted By Unsuccessful Single Dad

It is almost the beginning of a new year. Since January 1999 is when I decided to become an adoptive parent. I took the classes required in my state and through some ridiculous mishaps the Home Study finally was completed the beginning of this year. (Anyone ever had the problem of getting their fire inspection appointment taken care of over a 4-month period?!!!??!?!?) I kept pushing along to get it completed like walking through a snow storm in the Alaskan terrain. I finally got it done. :-)

     While taking the classes we were encouraged to search and identify children. Phone calls were placed, but only 2 were returned over almost a year's time. I chalked that up as to not having the official Home Study completed. Once that finally got done I thought the "no return call" response would go away. It's stronger than ever. I've had 3 phone calls returned. I just don't get it. It is so frustrating. I don't know if it's because I am single, but I can't help the fact I haven't walked down the aisle yet. Perhaps it will happen, but I'm in my mid-30s and I don't really want to waste time looking for Mrs Right anymore and then settle into the marriage (more time going by) and then I'm suddenly in my 40s starting a family. I want to be a relatively young dad. I did not think it would be this difficult, or should I say disappointing?

    I then figured the no phone calls being returned was because I had no foster papers signed. Perhaps being "strictly" an adoptive parent might have been too inflexible. I got the foster license on the underlying notion for adoption only and the phone calls still don't get returned. UGH!

    My social worker does not seem to look for chldren. She only seems to notify my when she needs something (like a quarterly visit). I've already decided I will not renew the foster license because it hasn't done me any good. What's the point? I got my Home Study done through my county's Social Services Department. I began to think that agency in itself wasn't good enough so I began searching through the agencies they recommended as alternatives. I was appalled at the astounding amounts of money they required. All requiring funds which exceeded pricing for a good used car. In addition to that I would have to do all the paper work and Home Study stuff all over again. I did it once. I could not see doing it again and paying thousands of dollars for something I already had.

     I thought rooting for my son on the weekends at his games would be so grand. It still has not happened and here comes another holiday season with an empty house...just me and the animals. I just don't get it. I don't honestly know what the problem is and after all this time I am beginning to take it personally. I am surprised I haven't given up sooner, but I guess that shows my passion to be a good father.

     My only source is adopt.org and the photolistings and the photolistings of the other offered links. I've recently decided to stop looking in-state so searching out of state might be a different experience, but if the phone calls still don't get returned then I've had it. All I want is a boy right now. I want to cheer him on at his games. Watch him graduate high school and college and make a good life for himself and then get married (or vice-versa LOL). I'm single so I know I can't go "too young" nor "too old" but somewhere between 8 or 9 up to 14 would be nice. I hope it happens some day soon. Looking at that empty childless bedroom is getting unnerving.

Unsuccessful Dad in North Carolina.

P.S.: I want to thank Jay in Michigan for steering me towards this forum. :-)