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Debi,
You are so right. The perimeters may well change once the b-mother realizes that the b-father wants to keep the child. This is what I meant by it taking guts; I do not know if I would be willing to co-parent in a situation like that. But that is just me.
IF you do it, you have to be prepared that the mother may decide that you had rather co-parent than give the child up for adoption. And if she decides to forgo all of that and keep the child, you must accept the fact that your husband will have to pay child support and will have this woman in your life for the rest of your life. In all instances except for closed adoption by the biological mother, you have to decide if you will be willing to co-parent with this woman and make sure that you do not resent the child because he/she is the only innocent victim in this issue.
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Lisa
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