[Rayma]

Roxy,

Both you and Clara have good points.

Roxy you are talking about victum thinking and then learning about PTSD and starting therapy. Clara is talking mainly about being a thriver. She does no what it is like. I have talked to her several times about PTSD. In fact I asked for her help with this forum. We don't always agree, but we reapect each other's opoin. So, you see she isn't trying to be mean she's just coming from a differnt part of the healing process. All of us are at different stages.

I'm not making an excuse for her. I know for a fact that most of the things she said is true due to my own healing expeince.

I had to learn how to rethink matters, and control my temper. And I always attracted the wrong type of people too. I don't anymore. Those kind of people seek out someone that they can mistreat to make themselves feel better. After you develope your self esteam and self confindence they wont be after you so much. Those kind don't like women with a strong self esteam because they can't walk all over that woman.

From all the books that I have read PTSD is not curable but it is treatable. Many people don't get treatment, sometimes they think it's everyone esle that have a problem. For ex: "They're noisy, they need to get away from me and leave me alone". And all the loved one was doing was tring to help. Yes, this is a very mild example. I don't want to scare anyone. So as you learned, people self-medicate through alcohol and/or drugs so they don't feel the emotional pain.

I did the self-medicating, and was self distructive. But with God's help (the last time I was suicidal was years before I was diagnosed, because I learned how mush I mean to HIM), therapy with a realy good theraphist, and my meds, I got past the garbage that I had learned. And learned to let go of my past. It's still there and it always will be. But I let it go in the since that I have forgiven my abusers, and am able not to dell on it any more. I no longer have nightmares or fear everyone...in fact I went in the opisite dirrection in the Army out of neccassity, I no longer fear anyone. I'm working on being more caulsas.

You see, Clara was right about a lot of things. But each of us heal and handle things in a different way.

Some of us are very sinsitive and sme of us are blunt and we can be inbetween. But from what I've read the extems are the norm. In fact I'm too blunt most of the time, but I can be very understanding as well. I whould not be here, on this site if I couldn't be. I have to keep an open mind.

Don't worry her statments were not drected entirely at you, and as I said you are comming from a differnt place in healing and personality. There's nothing wrong with either of your personalities, it's human nature to be different.

If I find anyone who brakes the rules they will be asked to leave or appologize. I jest beleive that the two of you are comming from a different place.

Breaking the rules is for ex: Saying that you personly are ..., Or saying that PTSD isn't real or that it is just an excuse.

Both of you need to try to understand each other. Clara is a writer and is very articulate, and full of facts because she's been there and knows a lot more about research than most.