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A few comments here. First, Ellen, you are braver than I would expect anyone to be when it comes to adoption. If I were on the other side of adoption and my bparents were unsavory in the way you described I would have doubts about including them in my child's life. I agree the child should know who their bparents were but to let them have contact would make me too nervous. I think your choice was based on what you believed to be best and that is all that counts here.
Now, as I am a bmom to be, I must say that I can only hope to find a family that wants the same kind of open adoption I want. I want to be involved with my baby girl's life but only as long as I don't interfere with her relationship with her aparents. If i could be a big part of her life I would be happy but if that isn't meant to be... then I will deal with that too. Anyway, good luck with your kids and to everyone here.... God bless.
Mary
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