[SomeBunniesMom]

Well, I never consider my twins to be "double trouble". I know that's a joke, and maybe some twins really are double trouble, but mine are very good girls! I always tell them so, I treat them like i expect them to be good and that is what they are! I'm just so proud of them!

What is different about raising twins in my opinion is that some things need to be done differently. there will be times when both babies will need you at the same time and you will not be able to meet both their needs simultanelously. You will have to make a decision about which child to tend to first, how long to give that child your attention, whether to let one cry, or employ the help of some other person to comfort the other child while you tend to the one with the greater immediate need. There is always worry about whether one baby is getting more attention, whether you are bonding with both babies,etc. It takes a while to establish a routine and pattern that works for everyone.

The thing that is different about twins, is that, for most babies their primary bond is with their mommies (or main caregiver, sometimes it's daddy or someone else), with twins their primary bond is usually with each other. That's a bit of a difficult concept for many people, it's also hard to explain and understand fully. Because they have each other, they can get by with less attention from their caregiver than a single baby would require -- I'm not talking about neglect, just that while you are worrying about whether you are bonding with each baby because one is getting maybe more attention than the other, they are really doing better than you would think because they are getting attention from each other. This is true even as small infants if they are allowed to spend time next to each other. it's especially true for my girls now as toddlers. They have a great friendship and play together well, share, collaborate, and do most things as a pair. They still want my attention, but I think they entertain themselves and each other longer than most single kids would at this age. Then there is also a sort of "magical" element to twins that I think other parents of twins would understand, but those without twin experience may not know what i mean.

There are many things that need to be done twice, which can be exhausting, but there are also some things that can be done simultaneously. It is very helpful to synchronize the twins' schedules so that they are eating and sleeping at the same time. This can be tricky and take a while to get right, but I think it is critical for everyone's happiness. When you change one diaper, you will more than likely be changing another within a few minutes -- I just started doing them both at the same time. When they were very small I gave them a bath one at a time, a process that took the most part of an hour before both were completed. Now i bathe them together, which takes half the time and is great fun for them. If you will be bottle feeding, the current school of thought is to not prop the bottles for babies, but with twins, sometimes you need to have a free hand or hands and propping is the only thing to do. You need to overcome the guilt that you will feel when you have to make decisions such as this. For every incident that you may feel you are not giving as much attention as you think you should there will be other times when you can make up for it with quality time -- remember they also depend on each other for attention, so a little less from you is going to be just fine.

There will be many little things along the way that you will end up having to do slightly different from the way you did it for a single baby. The best thing to do is have your mind open and be willing to accept that different doesn't mean wrong. There will be many people who have never raised twins who will have opinions about what your choices are, and you have to have the personal fortitude to ignore them and go with your own instincts.

I do recommend that you do a little reading on raising twins. there are some great resources available that can explain the more practical aspects that will help with the day-to-day stuff.

One of the biggest adjustments for me was all the attention the children get when I take them out in public. Everyone notices them and comments about them, and stops me to ask questions. It can be annoying when one is in a hurry to have so many people stop and ask the same questions that have been answered again and again. I try to allow extra time for any errand because of this and because it does take extra time to get the two kids in and out of the car and into a shopping cart or stroller, and most of the time they will have pulled off their shoes and the shoes need to be hunted down inside the car and put back on as well as the little socks sometimes......LOL

A good sense of humor is the most important thing!