[mrbeansmom]

This is a long story and I'm goign to condense it, but I'm wondering if anyone has any idea if we have any sort of a case here. We had a foster child while we were living in another state. We received this child at birth due to the fact that there was Fetal Alcohol Syndrome present in the baby and the birth parents were known to the system as being alcoholics as well as mentally retarded. We had this child nearly three years before parental rights were terminated. When this child was about 2 years of age we were approached by Social Services and told that this birth mother was expecting again, her fourth child. We were told that because the first two were placed for adoption, and the one we already had would more than likely be placed (with us) for adoption, that this new baby would be taken at birth as these birth parents could not take care of a baby adequately. They, therefore, wanted to know if we would consider keeping the two siblings together.

After much thought and discussion, we told them we would. My husband was transferred out of state with his work toward the beginning of the pregnancy and I stayed behind with our other children to wait. When the due date came and went I called the social worker to ask what was going on and I was told that the baby had been born and that the birth parents had turned the baby over to a private adoption agency because they didn't want social services to come and take it. As far as the worker was concerned, that was the end of the story. After waiting seven months without my husband for this baby I had a harder time just shutting the door.

Through a series of phone calls and begging I was able to locate the agency. The baby, it turned out, had not been placed with a family, but had instead been placed with one of the agency foster families because "it was obvious that there was ~something wrong~ with the baby". The agency was thrilled to hear from us as they said they were just about to turn the baby over to social services as they did not work with special needs infants and they didn't know what was going on with the baby. I told them that the baby most likely also had FAS, which the baby did. The minute I laid eyes on the baby I knew we needed to keep the siblings together. While they reduced the cost of the private adoption soemwhat for us because of the baby's diagnosis, we still had to pay a private adoption fee. They went to court, the birth parents relinquished, and off we went to be with my husband in the new state.

The laws in the state the baby was born in state that "unless a child has been placed in state foster care they are not eligible for special neds rate adoption assistance". Because our baby (now 8 years old) was never in state foster care we can receive the $300 per month basic foster care would receive, but not the special needs rate the other sibling receives. Parental rights on that child were terminated a year after the birth parents relinquished on the baby. While they were in the same state, the cases were each handled in two separate counties and the county that had our older foster child would not allow the birth parents to relinquish because of their mental retardation.

These children, because of their FAS, are extremely difficult children. We love them with our whole hearts, but they have trashed our home and are moderately mentally retarded, with autism and ADHD as well as mild CP. They require lots of therapy and we would like much more respite than we get. We have had therapists and couselors walk out on us stating that they have nothing more to offer us when they have had to try to work with the children. The older child has a 1:1 aide at school and can never be left alone for even ten seconds as the child will run away or trash the room the child's in. I cannot emphasize enough that these are challenging children. We have been encouraged to place them in an institution type setting, but I just can't. Not yet. I have so much hope for these two.

My questions are, if anyone knows:

1) Shouldn't there have been a police hold on the baby when it was born? What if, instead of taking it to the agency, the birth parents had taken it home? Doesn't this make social services somewhat responsible for botching this up, causing us to have to pay for a private adoption?

2) Is there any recourse for us to get this child the special needs rate so that we can better serve this child? I took the case to due process in the county that the adoption took place in, but the judge ruled against us saying that while it didn't seem fair, the law stated that the baby had to be in state foster care first and even though we were licensed with that state as foster parents, it was not through the state agency that we received her. I'm wondering if I have a case against the social worker or social services in the county we fostered the older sibling through. My understanding is that if birth parents have a child or children in the custody of the state, they cannot have more children and either keep them or place them with an agency without a judge's consent.

This is so frustrating as this child would have been placed in state foster care the very next day if we hadn't contacted the agency, but we ran the risk of never finding the child had we waited. We saved the child having to go to yet another foster home, but we were penalized for it. It just seems terribly unfair that the social worker dropped the ball and our child suffers for it. Our Regional Center worker was out today to see this child and was telling me that had we adopted this child in this state the adoption assistance would be based on what it would cost the Regional Center to place this child in a private facility. After receiving $300 per month for these eight years I about fell off the couch when she told me our child would receive upwards of $1200 per month here!! The Pull Ups we could buy with that. The horseback therapy, the social skills training. The extra speech therapy, the respite.............. The older sibling, who does receive the special care rate for that state receives $450 a month and we though THAT was a lot even though we still struggle with it.

Thank you for hanging in reading this. If anyone has anything to offer in the way of advice we'd sure appreciate it.