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I would tell my son that back then the choices were very limited and if you became pregnant, you were expected to give the child up for adoption so he or she would have a better life. This was not what I wanted as I loved him so very much but I had to put my trust into God that he would find him a set of parents that would love him the way I did. I would tell him that there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of him. Every year, I bake a birthday cake on June 4th and have a silent party in my heart for him. I pray someday we will meet and that he will be able to understand that he wasn't given up because he wasn't loved or wanted. I want his sisters and brothers to meet him. I want to know if he looks like me or my other children.
Mainly, I hope he has had a good life, and I do worry what he might have been told about me. I was young, 15 years old, but not a bad person. I want him to know that I am here if he makes the choice to meet me and would love to start out by becoming friends and hope for more. I also hope he could be become friends with my other children and their children. Since 1968, it has felt like a piece of my heart has been missing and I would love to make it feel whole. All I can do is be a mom and be available if he makes that choice. I would answer any questions I could for him as I am sure he must have some. I know I would love to hear all about his life that I had to miss. His face is still etched in my mind when we said our goodbye at 5 days old. I can still see the dimple on his chin through the tears pouring down my cheeks. I held him, rocked him and fed him for the first 5 days of his life and sometimes I swear I can still feel him in my arms. If I could say just one thing, it would be Eric, you have had a set of adoptive parents that have loved you very much and a birth mother that has loved you. There's another side to your life, another family that would love to share some of your time. We are here!
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