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Kym
You are making the right choices about the openness of your adoption and as along as the birthmom agrees with this and is very comfortable than all should be fine.
There is nothing wrong with having the birthparents and even members of their family being included in birthdays and holidays and even if they are not celebrated on the same day as your own families because of travelling distance or other reasons special days can be set aside for everyone to be together. It has got to give the birthparents that extra level of comfort in knowing they made the right choice when they chose you and your dh, and the same goes for the rest of us hopeful adoptive parents out here.
When we had been chosen by a bmom last spring, we spent a week in NC with her, her daughter and even her parents and we had a good relationship with her parents. Her daughter was very shy and doesn't go to people she doesn't know but she had no problem in sticking to my dh's side the entire time. Sadly she delivered a stillborn boy a month before her due date, but she still remains in our lives and a part of our family. She is even looking forward to the day when she can be an "aunt" to our adopted child.
Open and honest relationships are the best, especially in adoptions.
Good luck to all
Jennifer
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