[Archive]

We are parents of 3 special needs children who we adopted all as infants. Dtr 13 with Downs, Son 4 with Downs and Son 2 with spina bifida. Our youngest started with his adoption open from begininning (6 weeks old). His b mom was only just 16. It was a challenge for first year or so. We were dealing with issues of maturity but we worked hard to keep the relationship intact on our part and she was able to visit him at great length recently. OUr 4 year old's b mom chose closed but I continued to send letters and pics thru the agency and she recently agreed to a visit. WE flew to their state and enjoyed an afternoon together. She and our son's brother were able to see our little guy as a real blessing to our family and have now been able to enjoy open phone calls, letters and pics. (No more agency as middle person) Our dtr was also a traditional closed adoption. Last summer I searched and successfully found her birthmom. We all are blessed with the most wonderful relationship. She is also several states away but we have managed 8 visits in the last year one for a whole week vacation together. She and our dtr have weekly phone calls, daily emails, letters and pics galore. I have created birth family books for all my children and they sit on their dressers. They can spend whatever time they choose and when they choose with their b families through these books. I encourage open adoptions. My 13 year old clearly understands about birth families and adoption. She loves her birth mom and family. We are blessed to be able to watch as this relationship is blooming and growing. The hardest part for all the b families, by their report, is the fact that their children are special needs and seeing that as a reality and again having to accept it.

WE pray that soon we will be blessed again with a baby. We are hopeful that we will be honored to be able to be apart of the birth from the beginning. This would truely be a gift. I hope that others are as blessed with "special blesings" as we are.

Jill