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Men can be weird when it comes to fertility issues. They don't think the same way women do about it.
So I asked my husband, and he said the adad could be thinking:
"If she doesn't get pg right away, she'll want her son back" (insecurity)
"If she doesn't get pg right away, it will be such a disappointment to her" (security)
"If she doesn't get pg right away, she'll want to keep coming to visit this son" (he may assume another child would keep you from wanting to see your first)
"If she doesn't get pg right away, she'll never move past the pain of not raising this son" (he may think getting pg would help you emotionally)
"If she doesn't get pg right away, she might blame my boy or his pregnancy for the delay" (secondary infertility isn't that uncommon)
Etc...
And if he and his wife cannot have bio children, he especially could be thinking the same issues that he and his wife went through when they first discovered they were having problems! There's so many possibilities for the second half of that sentence that I'm glad you say it doesn't really matter, because that's probably something he'll never be comfortable telling you.
And JanetM, few aparents are worried about the *legalities* of a birthmom asking to raise the child ...they worry about the emotional aspect of that request. All the bmom has to do is ASK - even though legally the aparent doesn't have to agree, what are they going to do...give up the child they love or tell the child later that "bmom wanted you back but we said no?" EEK!
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