[Archive]

My little Rory - their little Alex is 4 months old and a few weeks already. He is beautiful - still has strawberry blond hair and has kept his father's blue eyes. He's healthy and making his adoptive parents thrilled every moment. I have been getting letters and pictures every month. It's still hard for me, it's was such a sacrifice for me but I know that I did the right things for him. I am doing well - work, home, family - all things going very well for me (picking up well financially and emotionally from the divorce). My daughter is doing well with everything also.

When I get a letter and pictures I am thrilled. It puts me in a little slump though because he is sooooooo perfect and I know just what I have given up. I pick myself up after a couple weeks, recommit to my decisions for him, carry on - then start wanting new sets of pictures to see how he is doing - but knowing what emotional struggle I go through each time - doesn't make me hunger for pictures less - but makes me cautious for the next one. I still very much want to see him but...... I realize it would be very hard on me to see him - not that given the choise I wouldn't choose it - but makes me very empathetic for those of you who do see your birthchildren regularly.

A journey...... much love - keep strong! Jodi