[RavenSong]

I agree with Lonni ~ I think you'd benefit a lot from some counseling to help you sort out all the emotions and issues. Another thing that might really help you is to join a triad support group that meets in person. A couple years before I reunited with my son, I joined a fantastic support group that consisted of adoptees, aparents, and bparents. We met at least once a month, sometimes more frequently. I don't know what I would have done without the group. I was able to identify which issues I needed to work on in my life, just by listening to other birthmoms open up. By listening to adoptees and aparents, I got to see the "other side" of the coin. I was able to get a better feel for how to go about developing a relationship with my son. There is just something so valuable in being able to meet other people in person who are going thru the same thing you are.