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As for the 13 yo, obviously there are some major issues. You are entitled to seek services for them... and it seems obvious to me the older boy needs SA counseling. The younger... its hard to say, do his behaviors seem to stem from frustration at not being understood? That might be a place to start. If he's not in school, request an early childhood IEP and get him services... it is his right.
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Foster mama to Pixie who is caught in endless redtape on her way to adoption.
Former foster mama to 10 other kiddos 
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