Well, even though we actually had the convo (haha!) I think for me it's the consequences if I mess up. They're terrifying to me.
The irrational part for me becomes that once we got that first visit done and out of the way, no request of mine has ever been turned down. But I'm still scared silly about it. Granted, all I've really asked for since then was another visit, but still....
((((((hugs)))))) I know
