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We send a simple card to our son's birthmom for mother's day. This card is about thanking her for making me a mother - because that's very special to me. It's not about celebrating her as a mother (that's for my son to do later if he wishes).
I agree that birthmother's day is not something that I would celebrate with her by sending cards/gifts. I think it's "hallmarky" too.
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First Adoption: baby boy born August 06 
Second Adoption: officially waiting November 26 07 
Got the call  April 4 08
We are matched and Baby is due Aug 08
Failed match  April 25 08
Waiting again
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