[Isabo]

Originally Posted by shadow riderer

I would like to pose a question to bmom's. Let's put the shoe on the other foot, and for arguments sake say, how would you feel if you found out that your birthchild had gone on the internet and before contacting you, for lack of a better word, spied on you.

I am a first mom, and I am happy to answer that. I have lived my life so my son could be proud of me. My life is an open book. I have lived a very moral, upright life, and I am proud of the life that I have lived. I have worked hard all my life, and educated myself (I have Bachelor, Master and Doctorate degrees). I have a good career, and I have been married more than half my life to the same man. I have no criminal record of any kind, and I haven't had so much as a traffic ticket in over 15 years. I am a contributing, normal member of society. I am someone my son and his adoptive family can be proud of. However, they are not proud of me and condemn me for my accomplishments, because my success makes them feel "less than." This makes me very sad, but ultimately, it is their problem that they did not lead a life they could be proud of.

When my son searched and found me, he DID "investigate" me. He searched out where I lived, made plans to drop in unexpectedly (but chickened out), and read my Internet profile which had been published by my firm on its web page. He knew all kinds of things about me. I had no problem when I found that out. In addition, if I had a public MySpace page, I would fully expect that anyone and everyone who wanted to could lurk all day long, and I wouldn't find it creepy at all. I would be flattered that they were interested. If I didn't want people to read my page, then I would either make it private or I wouldn't have one. Expecting members of the public not to read a public page is a bit ridiculous, IMO.