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I cannot answer for Sonia, but for myself I never dwelled on adoption. The only time I would even think of it was whenever my parents would bring it up or there was talk of adoption in the house. It was not something on my mind, in fact I would say about 3% of my thoughts were about adoption and that was mostly because my family was in the process of adopting another sibling and ended up with a disrupted adoption. That was when I thought about it most because it bothered me that after so many weeks my baby brother had to be returned. A few years later we adopted a 14month old boy from foster care(my now abrother).
It would be fair tosay that most of my thoughts growing up were that of non adoptees, normal kid stuff until I was reminded that I was adopted, but the thoughts didn't last very long. My parents were very open about things and would have answered any questions I may have had, but truthfully I didn't have many questions at all.
I think many of times that aparents are so worried about how the child will feel that they try to make up for any questions they might have but telling them things. It is very important to let children know you are available and willing to answer questions, but I think that the child should be the one to take the lead. Too much reminder might make the child feel different or odd. As a matter of fact the only time I felt somewhat different was when my parents would mention it. Most of the time it was the furthest thing form my mind.
I was talking to my abrother a few weeks ago about this very thing and he too agreed that unless someone made mention of him being adopted it was the last thing on his mind.
As long as the child knows they are loved I thinmk that is whjat is most important. Most adoptees do not want to be made to feel different.
EZ
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