[JNs_AdtrandFes_Bdtr]

To the helpful and advising members of a.com, I, a lurker is in need of guidance,

Okay, I have been in reunion with bmom for about a year and a half (not quite) and never met F2F (we have not had time, I’m in college and she has two kids). We (if you have read my journal will know, though I have not updated for a while) have had our share of ups and downs. It seems like everything for the most part is going well. Here’s the part I question, she never calls me, if I email her she does not email me back, if I text her to ask her a question she’ll answer, but occasionally she’ll say call you later, and never does it. I call her, I used to call her once a week, but because of finals and school, I started calling her every two weeks (she has not changed the way she acts either), I don’t think she noticed the difference. She has done the not calling me back thing for awhile so I am use to it, but its beginning to frustrate me. I got to the point where I really want to stop calling her and wait for her to call me but I keep feeling that it is wrong, I don’t want to play games, nor do I want to test her. Also, she never talks when I call her, she says she has a boring life and nothing to say, so when I tell her that I can call her less, she says no, I can call her whenever I want to. I hear the jump in her voice to get the idea out of my head but it doesn’t help. I ask her if she has any questions for me, she always says no, she knows everything about me, and I wonder how? I don’t even know everything about myself. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of her going to come visit in July which if she is really coming is a whole new conversation and can of worms altogether. I just want to yell, I want to tell her how I feel and I can’t. I don’t want to lose her, but this is killing me.
I just want to tell her that I am frustrated that she never calls me, she never e-mailed me back when we emailed each other, I feel as though she doesn’t try and doesn’t care. I am being the most flexible person in the world, I told her I would call her more if she wanted or less, she said call her when I want to. She said the same with email. I try to ask her questions (very superficial, about work, my sister, what are her plans for the weekend, I’ve tried deep question and she still says nothing) and she doesn’t want to reciprocate. I have tried to tell her what’s going on in my life but she just seems disinterested and everything is cool. I grasp the fact that she is not/does not want to articulate, though in her letters she was very (who knows). I just don’t understand where she is going with this. I am tired of trying so hard.
So all this to ask: do I just confront her and ask or am I missing something and need to watch my approach? I am not going to call her until Tues. or Wednes. night so you have time to ask questions or mull it over. She’s not going to call and if she does I have finals tonight and won’t be able to pick up the phone.

Thanks and God Bless Staci