Donna
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Again it becomes all about the mothers.
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I don't think this is about two different groups (child / mother/ biological or adoptive. To me, reunion is all about family/friendships and possibilities . If every person involved in the reunion exercices respect and compassion for each other, chances are each feels supportive and supported. That's what families do - right?
From what I read of gigglessa posts, her bmother was feeling pain for her bdaughters trauma - not asking for sympathy for the impact the news had on her. Shes offered her support - so let's take that as a mark of respect.
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Please understand YOU did not cause her any grief. Its wonderful she called to be supportive but unfortuante that she told you how bad it made her feel. She is not responsabile for the problems you had in childhhod but neither are you resposible for her grief
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I agree......but I think the bmom would have welcomed the honesty and at the same time experienced grief for it having happened to her daughter. I think it's more possbile she did feel responsible for her daughters childhood. ??
gigglessa.... I read that you both are committed to this new-found relationship. She voiced how sad she was to learn of your earlier trauma. That's what reunions need - people telling/asking the other how they feel - if it's asked, answered or spoken....there is no doubt. Now...if you are worried that your words will drive her away, tell her what you fear, and say you regret putting yourself in such a vulnerable place - chances are she feels the same. Talk it through instead of worrying it around in your head. It's the only way to know how things are, and gives you each an opportunity to allay those fears and move that little bit closer to a place of trust. We all need to stand in our own reality - not in percieved fear.
XXX Fingers crossed for you both. I think you are both doing the best you can to heal old wounds and keep your reunion momentum moving forward
Ann