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Originally Posted by txrnr
I love how much respect your show your daughter, and her family, even though amom has not been overly welcoming. One thought that keeps popping into my head though, is how many parents would feel comfortable sending their 18 year old daughter off to visit strangers? I bet most wouldn't like the idea. My guess is, this wouldn't have been a great idea for them to start with. Toss in birthfamily and all those insecurities, and it makes it even harder to deal with.
I know amom hasn't been the best person in all this, but I truly can see her point. A kid doesn't change magically in the one day between 17 and 18.
I hope she gets to come, and spend time with your family. I think it's a great opportunity. I only mean to say I can see why any parent (even when adoption isn't involved) may have concerns.
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Totally agree, as I have an 18 year old daughter. I would be VERY concerned. Another thing is I suggest you don't get invovled in the realtionship with her amother. DON't tell her how to act...that is between her and her mother. It is only going to cause MORE confusion for HER.
Maybe this is not a good time to persue this, maybe your bdaughter is not ready for complete immersion into your family yet. She just may blame her adoptive mother..who best to blame. Maybe she is not ready to come alone. 1 is still very young for sme kids.
Please don't push this girl into one thing or another...just let it go until she is ready to do it herself. When she is ready to stand up to amom she will, until then don't add more pressure on her...she doesn't need it at this crucial time in her life.