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I love how much respect your show your daughter, and her family, even though amom has not been overly welcoming. One thought that keeps popping into my head though, is how many parents would feel comfortable sending their 18 year old daughter off to visit strangers? I bet most wouldn't like the idea. My guess is, this wouldn't have been a great idea for them to start with. Toss in birthfamily and all those insecurities, and it makes it even harder to deal with.
I know amom hasn't been the best person in all this, but I truly can see her point. A kid doesn't change magically in the one day between 17 and 18.
I hope she gets to come, and spend time with your family. I think it's a great opportunity. I only mean to say I can see why any parent (even when adoption isn't involved) may have concerns.
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