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Everyone,
Thanks for the replies.
I'm leaning toward contacting the birth mother, whether by phone or email or in person, and have just me and her discuss the situation.
I think that maybe, just maybe, if the birth mother knows exactly where I stand, and that there are no misunderstandings that I'm doing this strictly for my son and wife's sake, then I may be able to work this out.
I haven't made up my mind yet, but this is the only option that seems even remotely possible at this time.
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