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What disturbes me the most is that this couple that adopted the baby MUST have known SOMETHING about this situation since they were friends of the girls' parents...
I try to put myself into the situation - if it were my DH and I who were chosen by this girl (and not as a friend of the family) would we be willing to go along with this, assuming that we knew what was happening? Absolutely not...there is no way we would willingly enter into an adoption if we knew that the father wanted custody, or was the slightest bit hesitant of the adoption plan.
Our agency's policy was to exhaust every effort to find the father (if he was not participating in the adoption plan) and have him either sign off on the adoption, or work out a parenting agreement with the mother...We wouldn't have had it any other way.
It just doesn't sit right with me that it's not necessary to name the father if an adoption plan is put into place.
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