[Jennasmom1990]

For those of you who have already read my earlier posts I have just begun the reunion process with my bdaughter. She turned 18 today, and I have a small problem I am trying to figure out.

I have 3 other children that I am raising, my bdaughter is very excited to meet them. As they are her as well. The problem is the amom doesn't want her to come here to visit with them, she wants to wait until we come to MD for vacation to allow her to meet the other 3 children. My husband is very opposed to this idea bc the orginal agreement was that I would go there to her the first meeting but that when the time comes for my bdaughter to meet my other children she would come here to an environment that they are comfortable in as they are quite a bit younger than she is. We are talking about a 15 y/o, an 11 y/o with high functioning autism, and a 9 y/o. The change happened when my bdaughter's amom found out that we were coming to her area for vacation. In her mind that meant that my bdaughter could meet the other kids without the amom haveing to send her here to do it. It also allows for the amom to try to some whqat control the meeting, which after my visit, I can tell you my children will never be exposed to her. My husband says absolutely no.

I gave the amom everything she asked for in our first meeting. She wanted to be there, she wanted done at her house, she demanded that I come alone without my husband or my other children. And I agreed to it all.

Now is it so wrong for me to want and expect her to uphold her end of the agreement reguardless of where we are going on vacation. My husband does not want them to all meet there bc as he says we go on vacation to decompress not to go into a pressure cooker situation. He thinks that my other children should be extened the same courtesy that the bdaughter was extended in the first meeting.

So I am just wondering how to address this with an amom who "just wants me to go away"? And if she says no, what do I do then?