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I'm sighing a relief.
I'm not the only one. Course I know this but I'm limited to as where and whom I can turn to.
I appreciate how one must feel when they desire to be in reunion, I see it all over the boards and my heart goes out to each one. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything better for all members of the triad.
I know my rants are just that. I feel safe coming here to vent... and communicate with others who share my pain, happiness, grief etc.
I have talked to professionals because of my situation and reasons for placement. I'm fine with their opinions but they have not experienced any of this first hand.
I think some think its just textbook knowledge.. this is this and one should feel this way or that...stage one to stage 5 etc. I just want answers from ones who have been there done that.
I'd love to ask all the adoptees the same questions and have tons of answers until my heart was content. I want a make-believe replica of my daughter to answer and say this is why I treat you this way... this is how I feel about you. This is where I see you in my life. I want answers but with our history, I cant just be blunt and ask. She is very emotional and .... you'd just have to read my original posts about her.
I'd love to have answers from Birthmothers who would say to me.. I have gone through this same situation, this is what I did, and here's the end product. Wouldn't it be nice if that was reality.
You ladies will never know how much this site has meant to me. Ive not been here in awhile but its seems its here just when I need it. Sometimes its a little ghostly, no activity, but I'm okay with reading old posts. I think Ive read them all..
I'm writing a journal online and hopes that it helps me to vent and sort my feelings. Amazing how therapeutic that can be. I wish I could find her blogs and sneak into her mind... gosh I think Im losing it. I'm just being honest.
I'm going to ponder my thoughts for awhile. I'll be back and hopefully things will be brighter.
Thanks again.
Rose
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