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Rose,
I am a birthmother. I have to say that after reviewing many postings on this site and on others, it seems that this back and forth can be pretty normal in reunions. Even the anger and bickering. I think it is a huge struggle for all parties involved. I have not been blessed with a reunion yet. However, I would like to think that if I was lucky enough to experience one that if it became this difficult... I would seek professional counseling to help me sort out everything. I think it is likely that you are going to have to set some very clear guidelines, even if they are just in your mind, about what level of participation you are going to have with her and your new grandchild. I hope that her coming back into your life, even if it seems more of a convenience for her at this time, is an opportunity for you two to turn this reunion around and have a positive and lasting relationship.
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