This may come off as mean but I am so lost and confused. My bdaughter has dragged out a painful relationship with me. Anger found its way into our reunion and I have come to terms with that...we ended with just simple emails about once a month. I accepted that she really dont want me involved in her life. Now she is pregnant and its like we've started all over again. The honeymoon stage. But I feel like I'm being set up for a fall again. No sooner than she tells me I will be a grandmother she lies and avoids plans that she makes, visits etc. I dont want to go through the push and pull again. Is it because she is pregnant she feels the need to be close to me. I wonder if its because she knows I wouldnt hold back from sending "much needed" baby items. I may be reading into this too much. I just dont want to be hurt again. I've tried not to interfer in her life and just be a friend. She has good parents. I know things for her will be okay. "unwed mother situation"
I feel torn. I want to say "why are you so friendly now?"
Where was all the nice nice before? She was too busy before and now she is making all sorts of plans to include me in this baby's life. I dont want to get my hopes up and only be disappointed again.
I know its my rant. Ive kept these thoughts from my dear husband. I need to hear from adoptees and birthmothers. I need a kick or a hug!
Rose
