doublej986
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Hello, I joined this forum because I am faced with the decision of giving up my unborn son to adoption. His mother and I are financially unable to care for this child right now. We both have children and are both sad that we may have to come to this conclusion.
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When I relinquished my son I wanted him to have a life that I could not provide for him.
And he is okay.. I relinquished a long time ago and have met him and he was okay with me giving him up..
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I am afraid of several things...his mother dealing with this loss and how I will be able to comfort her while dealing with it myself...is it the right thing to do...
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Take your time… You do not have to make any decisions before the birth.. you can give the baby up after the birth after you have gone through many of the emotions you are going through.. Going to go through..
Please please do not avoid the emotions.. I avoided emotions when I relinquished (I did not see my son) and I did not ‘get right’ with myself for a long time.. To me its about grief.. we grieve the loss.. and if you have someone to grieve with so much the better.. I wish I had of been given love when I relinquished..
Soooo if you do give baby up.. take care of each other..
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will he find me later in life and resent me for giving him up....will I resent myself for not being able to care for him? I have many more but these are some of the big ones. Any help or suggestions would be helpful.
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Worrying about what may happen will not work.. fantasy about reunion will not help..
Open adoption is an option.. visiting the child and making sure the child is okay is an option..
Look at all your options and consider and think and watch out for the ones with agendas.. the ones that know what is best..
Pay attention to you.. and your wife..
I am so sorry you are going through this..
Jackie