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another bsib
Hi Knitty,
If there's one thing I'm learning having like you, found out about an adopted sister, it's that there is no "normal" way to feel. While I do not feel displaced per se, it is really kind of weird to no longer be the eldest.
Please know that your feelings are as valid as anybody else's in this situation: Just last week, I was so distressed I rang an adoption line. I expressed anger for myself at "making it all about me." The counsellor said it IS about me too. And does expressing how we feel mean that we are not showing respect for the process of the adoptee or our mothers? No! Although we can appreciate that our mothers and asiblings may have different issues to us, it's all about all of us.
I believe that you have a right to go at your own pace; I also believe that you have a right to as much support as anyone else in this. For different reasons to you, I also can't get support from my mother. I accept that, and I think that's why forums like this one are great; I intend to count it as a resource at this time. Have you some good friends you can sound off to without fearing judgment?
I am not terribly experienced in these matters, but something tells me that your adopted sibling in all probability isn't looking to replace you. I hope that once things level out, you and she can find something good together.
Take care
Louise
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