[Nicole28]

As an adoptee - I would never be able to trust you if I were your bio-daughter.

I would also be livid if I were her mother and I discovered that you were manipulating her over the Internet.

Now, I'm not in reunion, but I don't think you are ready.

This really upsets me - and I know it is hard for you, too - but it's so unsettling to me that you would be so deceptive. I had MySpace for maybe a year - I'm almost 24 - but I was always incredibly diligent about my privacy settings. I knew every single person that I was friends with...does it not bother YOU that your bio-daughter would accept a friend request from a much older adult male that she doesn't know?? It makes me sick to my stomach. It SHOULD bother you.

Not to mention the potential for your bio-daughter's parents to become EXTREMELY angry with you - they could go so far as to obtain a restraining order if they felt like you had put their daughter in any kind of compromising situation.

YES - rejection is TERRIBLE. I have a crazy fear of rejection. I think it is selfish of you to use your husband as a cover-up to get to your bio-daughter...he loves you and wants to help you through this but this is the wrong way. He should be encouraging you to be honest and forthcoming.

I'm sorry if I sound angry - I just can't believe this. It makes me so sad as an adoptee because I hold my biological mother in such a high regard, and if she approached contact with me in the way you are I would never want to trust her or build a relationship. How can you build a relationship on a lie? You can't. PLEASE - you need to be honest with your bio-daughter and the manipulation has to stop...I would hate for your bio-daughter to hate you or resent you years from now because of the way you handled this.