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Hi Caitlin!

I'm a birthmom and an adoptee too! (LOL, Courtney, here I am!) Isn't it an interesting perspective, to experience both? You gain insights that other adoptees, or other birthmothers, may never fully understand. And I have found that I am able to relate better with my own birthmother (who I have been in reunion with since March 2001). While I didn't feel as much anxiety/anger/confusion that you seemed to express about being an adoptee, I know that I now have fewer questions and a lot more gratitude for Annie (my birthmom) than I could ever begin to express. It has made our mother/daughter bond even greater, as we both share similar experiences and feelings.

As I made my adoption decision, I too felt confident in adoption based on my experience as an adoptee. I grew up with enormously supportive parents who have given unconditional love to both me & my brother (who is their biological child). It wasn't the entire reason for my decision, but as you said, was a very important factor.

I was wondering if you are reunited with any members of your birthfaily? After my son, Eric, was born on November 27, 2000, I felt a very strong need to find my birthmother with the simplest intentions of just saying "Thank you." After experiencing her same sadness, grief and sacrifices, I just had to tell her how much I loved and admired her for giving me what no one else could have - LIFE!

Having said that, here is a message to EVERY birthmother, coming from me as an ADOPTEE. Thank you for choosing life, and for putting your child's life above your own. Know that your children, even if they are never able to personally express it, appreciate the chance that you gave them!

Caitlin, I second Courtney in saying that I hope you continue to post here! There are many people here who come for support and to give support. Feel free to vent AS MUCH as you like! We're here to listen, and to support you in your every emotion.

Love, Jenn