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Thank you amollie and justpeachy for your input. I know that I dont want to over step my bounds with either my daughter or the amom. However, at the same time my daughter is at such a young age and I really get the impression that the amom gave her the info to find me the exact same way you would give a bawling child a candy bar. My feeling was that giving my daughter the info was a rash decsion with little thought of the consequences to any of us. For that reason alone I am trying very hard to give us all space, but still continue to allow my daughter's and I's relationship to root. My daughter's adoption fantasy was actually a nightmare. She does not have a decent relationship with either one of the aparents, and she had incredible abandonment issues. That were blamed on me!!! She ended up on drugs and alcohol, having sex a very early age, and stealing, they sent her to a bootcamp for kids and then a boarding school for emotionally disturbed kids. The biggest bite for me to swallow is that I made that sacrafice for her...no one else. But when push came to shove and all she wanted was a relationship with me, they couldn't make the same sacrafice. Instead they let her suffer in a tremendous amount of pain for years. It sucks really does, and yet I still find myself catering to the amom as a means of protecting my daughter. It truly is a mess, as much as I want off this rollercoaster turning my back on my daughter once again is NOT an option. But how do we help her (she is still pretty troubled) without overstepping our bounds. I just don't know.
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