[heikewould]

There should not be any question that seems to "nosey" that would forfeit your chance to parent this child. You need to know exactly what you may be getting into. From the sound of the post I'm assuming that the birthmom is the one that passed away. Soooooooooooo many questions need to be answered by the BF.

As far as meth use, do your homework. I do recall when I was going thru the DCF foster adopt program that the councelors all said that meth use does not do the damage that alcohol use does. It can be weened with no lasting effects in a childs life. These are hard decisions for your family. I'll send prayers your way.