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Originally Posted by Vogi2002
What exactly IS white culture and heritage?? Are we talking german, italian?? So do you specifiy what heritage you are mixed with black (only german/black)? If not then it has nothing to do with culture because they ARE going to have a different culture than you. I am white and I am think this is almost ridiculous. My family has a culture / heritage as does every person's family regardless of race, but if we are talking culture / heritage as compild as a race?? Well compared to the rich and diverse AA heritage the white (in general) is lacking and i'm baffled at what this would be.
I think a lot of times this is a cover to be very very frank. If a full AA child makes you uncomfortable I would ask why. Are you emphasising the "white part" because the black makes you uncomfortable? What about the black heritage? You won't share that with them, will you teach them and show them that?? I'm not sure someone can truley embrace a race as long as they are "part white". What if they are part mongolian or asian? Is that okay too...just as long as that race's skin is white??
Would those of you that accept a biracial child...would you accept a full hispanic child? Full asian child? If so, well....not choosing full AA has nothing to do with sharing of culture and is truley just a cover. I am just baffled by this...society is just generating this "skin tone" hierarchy and it is so sad for me to see this.
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Really, no one is listening and I'm not going to continue shouting.
Us choosing not to accept a biracial OR AA child at this point has come down to the fact that we don't feel we can do this child justice as far as giving them them the connection to their AA heritage (race, whatever you want to call it). We are going to be living in a fairly isolated part of a still very sadly segregated state, but one that we love and call home.
It has nothing to do with OUR comfort level. It has nothing to do with us not being able to love or nurture a mixed or AA child. On the contrary, we are heartsick about this. But because we DO care so much, we can't say 100% that we can give this child what they need as far as helping them feel like they have the best of both worlds. We don't have the resources or the tools or the connections. We do have the love, but after reading some essays last night in "In Their Own Voices" by Rita Simon, we are realizing it takes more than that.
To the people who think they are somehow better than us because they were open to all races, I hope you have all done the heart-wrenching self assessment and soul searching about your ability to give that child a sense of identity and a grounding in their AA culture. And I hope you have read Rita Simon's book.
To those with the knee jerk reaction that we are racist, all I can say is that nothing is farther from the truth. It is because we have so much respect for our child needing that connection with their AA heritage that we don't feel we can do this, at least not in the part of the world where we live.
I appreciate the folks who have managed to give us food for thought without throwing stones, few though they have been in this discussion.
I wish you all the best with your families.