Raven wrote
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Jackie, speaking of coming full circle, one of my very favorite songs from long ago was "The Circle Song" by Joni Mitchell. I used to sing it a lot when I was playing in coffeehouses back in the '70s. It was so meaningful to me because it always reminded me of my lost child...it seemed like a song written for birthmothers. And then the 1980's came...and Joni Mitchell "came out" as a birthmom. An 'aha' moment for me...
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I was listening to Coyote the other nite and I was taken back to those times.. I was remembering the life.. that incredible life..
And I cried.. I love that I can cry now.. that I do not have to look back in misery.. and helplessness..
Joan we have captured your thread..
But oohhhhh its so nice to be able to be sad now.. and to listen to the music and actually feel feelings.. what a gift..
And Brockbaby.. I think it is so important to have images.. On another thread this morning there is a girl posting about Miami and CC and the hospital and her mom had given birth and relinquished in 1967 in the very same place I had.. I have an image in my mind of that hospital.. and thank goodness the CC gave me the hospital record.. It told me how long I was in labor etc..
All we want is information.. its all we can have when we know we can not get what happened back.. I do not think it’s a lot of ask.. and I wish records were open.. I wish with all my heart that there were no secrets and hiding and protecting with fines and jail.. and horrible things..
Coyote Lyrics
Artist: Joni Mitchell (Buy Joni Mitchell CDs)
Album: Hejira
No regrets Coyote
We just come from such different sets of circumstance
I'm up all night in the studios
And you're up early on your ranch
You'll be brushing out a brood mare's tail
While the sun is ascending
And I'll just be getting home with my reel to reel...
There's no comprehending
Just how close to the bone and the skin and the eyes
And the lips you can get
And still feel so alone
And still feel related
Like stations in some relay
You're not a hit and run driver, no, no
Racing away
You just picked up a hitcher
A prisoner of the white lines on the freeway
We saw a farmhouse burning down
In the middle of nowhere
In the middle of the night
And we rolled right past that tragedy
Till we turned into some road house lights
Where a local band was playing
Locals were up kicking and shaking on the floor
When I rode the bus from Boston to Miami knowing I was pregnant and knowing I had to tell mom and dad.. those lines just take me there.. I would look out the window in the night and see people just doing their lives.. and I was stuck in time.. lost in space.. waiting for it to happen..
Waiting for my life to catch up with me..
When I went to meet my bson more than 35 years later I went on the train across the upper part of the US.. and I stared out the window the same way.. I had a book but barely read it and I did not go on my laptop.. and I do not think I even listened to music.. I just stared..
Jackie