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Are you kidding, I have been with my husband for 15 years and I still don't know why he is with me. I have pushed away most people in my life that I have cared about for just the reasons that you stated. I overlove thinking that they would stay, but then once I have them in my life I am too scared to actually have the relationship so ultimately I push them away. Didn't realize why all of this was happening until I was in reunion and read Primal Wound (story of my life pretty much).
Now with my bmom, I am having such a trust issue but I am doing what I can to change my previous relationship behavior so that I do not push her away. We'll see if I can actually pull that off.
I have felt no sense of self worth at all, not sure why anyone is in my life?? But I am trying to change that, now that I know where it stems from I can consciously try to behave differently so I do not push away the important people in my life.
You are feeling what many adoptees feel, you are not alone. I used to think I was unique! LOL!!!!
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