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Nicole, your posts always make me think.
I seem to go back and forth in the terms that I use - birthmother, first mother, and biological mother. I do use the word "mother," because I believe she truly was my first mother. She took care of me for nine months while pregnant with me (no easy feat, I now know!), spent time with me for a few weeks after I was born, and, after deciding she could not parent me as a single woman in the 1960s (my birthfather said he would not marry her), made the biggest decision of my life for me and placed me for adoption.
To me, "birth" mother is probably the least appealing term. I think it implies that the my only connection to her was birth, and I think that not only did she do more than that, but we continue to have a connection.
Sometimes I use "biological" mother, because to me, that does imply more of an ongoing relationship. Then again, it does seem a bit too "scientific," as if I were spawned in a petrie dish.
I guess I prefer to say, "first mother," because that's truly what she was in my life. She was my mother first.
I don't mean to romanticize her role in my life, but I do respect it. I think of myself with my firstborn when she was a few weeks old. I wasn't any less a mother because I hadn't been one for very long.
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