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I call my birthmother by her first name when talking to other people about her. Frankly, in our two meetings I didn't call her anything! On forums like this, or in general conversation with someone not familiar with my situation, I call her my birthmother, and I don't have any problem with that term myself. I don't have a mother-daughter type of relationship with my birthmother, but do feel that she is more than an egg donor. While I consider the woman who raised me to be my mother (and, as such, refer to her as mom--not adoptive mom), I feel that my birthmother DID make the decision to give birth, and in my mind that makes her more than just a donor. I do correct people when they refer to "your mom" in conversations regarding my birthmother (my extended family has done this on occasion), but it doesn't bother me (it may have in the past, but not now).
I personally object to the term "natural mother", because that would imply that my adoptive parents are not "natural" (and, conversely, that as an adopted child I am unnatural). Same with the term "real", last time I checked my adoptive parents were not imaginary. I'm okay with first mom, but personally think I would be more inclined to use that term with children who had a relationship with their biological mother.
I suppose you could rearrange the wording, and simply refer to her as "the woman who gave birth to me". I don't know that anyone could find a simple statement of fact offensive.
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