Mariarippy
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I am angry and sad, my mother who relinquished me stepped back into my life at 18. She didn't tell her immediate family for a year. Thirteen years go by with some bad and some good communication.
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I personally do not think pulling back is morally wrong (the original question)..and... I think some of us do not understand the pain it causes.. this because some of us were broken emotionally when the relinquishment happened.. Be it adoptee or be it birthparent.. father or mother..
Your birthmom did not tell her family for a year.. that is a major clue on this.. to me..
She knows not what she does.. maybe..
I can cut my emotions with a snap of my fingers.. I can shut down fast.. and I can not feel anything.. I learned how when I gave my son up for adoption and no one helped me.. No one in my life gave me a hug or a chance to feel grief.. To actually process my grief..
I know there are still places in me that are not right..
I think we all have a right to pull back when we can not handle it.. when we can not step up to the plate and be the person we know we need to be..
Jackie