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Butterfly,
I am a birthmother, but not through surrogacy. I imagine that it is not much different. You bonded with that child for nine months and it is very hard to lose the child after that time.
I think that people think that it is easy to just move on and forget. I am sure people assume that it is even easier when you have choosen to be a surrogate. It is good that you have come here to talk about it and let others know that it isn't an easy task to be a surrogate either.
I met someone on the boards the other day that was an egg donor and I think maybe she too was feeling some of the same feelings as us birthomothers sometimes feel.
It is hard no matter how you lost your child and I am sorry for you.
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