I would sit under a tree by the lake with my husband and daughter and pray. I would ask that after they grieve, they fill themselves with Jesus' love and know that I am radiant with joy.
After that I would cry (probably a lot) and show my husband one more time how to fix ponytails and match shoes with an outfit. I would remind him that he brought me back to God and ask him to always be the man I fell in love with. I would give him the password to my journal.
I would ask my daughter to laugh in my face so I could smell her sweet breath one more time. I would sing while she danced and dance while she sang. I would brush her hair and tell her 'Clover' stories. I would give her a special stone and tell her to hold it when she feels sad, and that no matter how many times she handles it, it will never wear away. I would tell her that God's love and my love are like that too. I would give her super-hugey kisses and tell her that I'm very proud of her.
The three of us would plant a tree.
Sally
The Adoptive Parent