[Oceans]

You know Beth this is a question I have struggled with in terms of what to tell my son if and when we ever reunite. There are certain things that I don’t feel he ever needs to know. They aren’t really pertinent to his story…

I am also half adopted by a step parent. My mom told me some things about my birthdad to this day I wish I never heard… They were not important with regards to MY relationship with HIM. They were things that had to do with THEIR relationship.

KWIM?

In both my birthmom and adoptee experience, it turns out years later, everyone has grown up. Yes, maybe inappropriate things were said and done back then but they aren’t representative of who any of us are today (my dad, my mom, me or the bdad of my son).

I hate adoption secrets but I think I would put yourself in your son’s shoes. Do you want to hear the story of your own conception for example (for me, this is a big EWWWW!!! lol). Or if your parents weren’t getting along when you were a baby, would you want to know that? Is it really important?

Like I said, I’m struggling with the same question (from another angle) but this has been my conclusion so far. I look forward to reading what other adopted folks have to say…