[Daisy1339]

Hi, Shelly,

I'm so sorry what happened to you and your husband. We had a similar situation with our first, and only, placement last September. We had him for 3 weeks and then a maternal aunt claimed him. They didn't tell us that he would definately be adoptable, but we still feel we were taken advantage of in other ways.

That situation, along with two subsequent placement calls that we did not take, caused us to close our home in January. I was fed up!

Now that I've calmed down a bit, we are looking to re open our home. A friend told me about an agency in our state (NJ) that is like an advocacy for resource parents. It's free to licensed foster homes. Does your state offer something like that? I guess if you're done with the state you don't need to look into it, but I thought I'd mention it.

Anyway, we were looking into private adoption. We cannot afford it, but it would definately go much smoother. I say, if you can afford it, go private. Especially if you are looking for an infant or toddler. The difference is, you are their client and you are paying them for a service. You can be more demanding and actually have a leg to stand on, where with the state you're their employee as a foster home.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

edited to add: some adoption agencies offer their fee's on a sliding scale. we found one, but still can't afford it, if you want you can email or pm me and i'll tell you more about it.