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My situation is different, since my son's adoption was not closed, but rather semi-open. I always kept the agency updated with my current address/phone and in recent years have been involved in bmom support groups. I've always known I wanted contact with my son and it's something that has been supported. Not all my friends know about my son, but close friends do, and most of my family does. It took me a long time to tell my spouse, but he knows, too. Given that, I think if I were in a closed situation, I would still likely want contact, but I cannot speak for all bmoms. There is another member of my family who did a closed adoption and she does not speak of it. The whole family knows, but her grown children do not. I often wish I could talk to her about adoption issues, and some of the challenges I am facing right now. I also often wonder if her child came forward, what she would do? Since she is not able to discuss the matter, I cannot say.
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